When it comes to friendship – It’s quality over quantity. I’m lucky to say, my friends are quality!
Scientific studies show that developing friendships is an essential ingredient to a healthy life. But few people are intentionally trying to avoid heart disease or improve their blood pressure through their friendships. Instead, they just want someone to hang out with, confide in or trust in times of trouble, says Darlene Quinn, an author whose latest novel “Conflicting Webs” uses friendship as an underlying theme. As she researched her novel, Quinn became fascinated by the motivations behind friendships. Not all friendships are equal and, over the long haul, not all turn out the way people might like.
“Having a mutually beneficial relationship is crucial,” Quinn says. “If only one person is willing to put in time and effort, that friendship won’t work.”
Quinn said she found at least six factors that can lead to great friendships – three that bring people together and three that keep them together:
• Similarity. The phrase “birds of a feather flock together” has been around at least since the 16th century, and it’s no wonder it became such a well-worn cliché. It happens to be true.
• Intrigue. Sometimes people are so fascinating that we can’t help but be drawn to them.
• History. Growing up together, or going through the same or similar experiences, can lead to a lasting connection between two people.
• Positive influence. A great friend will be someone who is a good influence and will support you and your goals, Quinn says. “They should inspire you to live up to your highest potential so you can be your best self.” The world has enough negativity. You don’t need that in a friend.
• Your happiness. True friends want to see you happy. “The best kinds of friends are the ones who have your best interests at heart, even to a fault,” Quinn says.
• Loyalty. A loyal friend will have your back no matter what. Loyalty is not an easy trait to find, but it’s essential to any really good relationship.